The event that I am going to write about is not something that took place on campus. In fact I don’t know if it can be considered an “event” but that’s what I am going to call it for the purpose of this post.
This past Monday, I was in Connecticut for my Paw Paw’s (grandfather’s) memorial service. My whole family was there. It was of course, a sad and tear filled day as we grieved together the loss of such an important man in our lives. He was a husband, father, uncle, grandfather, great-grandfather and friend. As the tears fell down my face however, I couldn’t help but smile, because although I was sad, I knew that my Paw Paw’s life was one to be celebrated. I had been thinking about it all weekend. Paw Paw lived a long, full life and was fortunate to be loved by so many. The same cannot be said for everyone.
This feeling consoled me throughout the day, especially during the very difficult parts like the memorial service, which seemed so final. Something that solidified this feeling of peace that I felt in the midst of grief was the poem The Dash by Linda Ellis, which my Dad read as part of the eulogy he wrote for his father.
The Dash
by Linda Ellis copyright 1996
I read of a man who stood to speak
at the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
from the beginning…to the end.
He noted that first came the date of her birth
and spoke of the following date with tears,
but he said what mattered most of all
was the dash between those years.
For that dash represents all the time
that she spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved her
know what that little line is worth.
For it matters not, how much we own,
the cars…the house…the cash
What matters is how we live and love
and how we spend our dash.
So, think about this long and hard.
Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left
that can still be rearranged.
If we could just slow down enough
to consider what’s true and real
and always try to understand
the way other people feel.
And be less quick to anger
and show appreciation more
and love the people in our lives
like we’ve never loved before.
If we treat each other with respect
and more often wear a smile,
remembering that this special dash
might only last a little while.
So, when your eulogy is being read,
with your life’s actions to rehash…
would you be proud of the things they say
about how you spent YOUR dash?
I had never heard this poem before but as it passed through my ears, I couldn’t help but to nod my head slightly in agreement. “For it matters not, how much we own, the cars…the house…the cash. What matters is how we live and love and how we spend our dash”
I can’t pretend to know an extensive, detailed history of my Paw Paw’s dash but from what I do know, he spent it working hard, raising and loving his family, spending time with his friends and playing sports.
I really hope that when the time comes, they will be able to say the same about my dash (although maybe not the sports part, but you never know).